Martyn breaks his silence

Damien Martyn has moved on from Test cricket but said the decision not to inform Ricky Ponting of his impending retirement was one he would always regret. Martyn finally broke his silence on his controversial and sudden retirement from international cricket in December in an exclusive interview aired on Australian television.

In explaining his decision not to tell his teammates before making the announcement, Martyn said he knew he had to make a clean break and that they would have tried to talk him into seeing out the Ashes series. He said the decision not to tell Ponting was one he had been grappling with.

"That's always going to be something I have to live with," he said. "Look he's disappointed and rightly so, but to look him in the eye, I would have broke down, I would have been in tears and I don't think I could have said what I wanted to say."

Martyn went to ground after making the announcement and wasn't seen in public for three weeks. His only initial communication with former teammates was by text message. Martyn said the reason he kept his decision from his teammates was because he knew they would try to change his mind.

"And I love them for that because they wanted to keep me in and part of it," he said. "But I wouldn't have played well anyway. The main focus was winning the series and winning the Ashes. A lot of people might not be happy with it - some people will be shocked and disappointed - but for me, for my personal happiness, it was the right time to go."

Martyn said he had settled happily into retirement with his new wife, Annika. "I've never been comfortable with the whole celebrity stuff that comes with the game, I found [it] hard to deal with," he said. "It's time to move on, it's just a freedom to say now I can go and live life and enjoy it."